"The fading light is us, and we are, for a moment so brief (...) beautiful." -- Gary Shteyngart

Cinquante-et-Un.

Is It You?
06.29.17

Through the muffled words
and some things unspoken
is it you?

Through all the heartbreak
and tear soaked fingers
is it you?

And now in quiet surrender
and longing for the better
is it you?

In my search for the sweeter
and the promise of forever
is it you?

Cinquante.

05.17.17

I longed for him
like how the ebb of a wave
would gather itself
and return to the shore.

I missed him
like a jigsaw solved
about a dozen times
and now the pieces are incomplete.

I loved him
like the moon beaming
over the evening sky
and embracing the stars.

Quarante-Neuf.

06.01.17

Like broken glass
your words cannot put me together
I am scattered
I am shattered.

Like a wilting flower
your hands cannot bring back forever
I am left behind
I am stuck in time.

Quarante-Huit.

The Light Through Rue Sainte-Ursule.
08.11.17

She welcomed the dusk
and the light fading into the beams,
for only through the dark of night
can the promise of a new day begin.

Quarante-Sept.

The Last Act.
08.15.17

Trying to comprehend
the beginning and the end
the highs and the lows
the things we didn't know

Taking a moment to breathe
accepting one of us must leave
too many wrongs than rights
tiptoeing to the edge in sight.

And the curtain slowly falls
and my mind cannot recall
the lines that once enthralled
or the refrain that ceased it all.

* Inspired by 아이유's song Ending Scene

Quarante- Six.

10.21.16

Maybe I was too forgiving
to forget every wrong you did;
maybe I was simply naïve
or simply too hurt to even feel.

But I begin to pick up the pieces
and walk with my head to the sky,
my heart with hope to the brim
till there were lesser days to cry.

Quarante-Cinq.

10.23.15

And that's when it hit me,
that deep inside
I was still hurting
and my heart ached
for what was lost
and wanting to be found
I never gave up
but the tides of life
washed you away
until all that was left
was a memory of us
covered in dust.

"Find beauty... in the pattern of the shadows, the light and dark which that thing provides." -- Junichiro Tanizaki

Quarante-Quatre.

Moments in Denmark.
11.09.16

It was a cold Danish autumn
and my fingers felt each degree
almost numbing each hand
till they were close to a freeze.

But I choose to feel the warmth
and marvel at a snowflake's art
soak in the sights and sounds
and hold each memory to heart,

like food which tasted like home
and the laughter in the air
the smiles of the little ones
and each word spoken in loving care.

Now I see the beauty of moments,
insignificant as they may seem;
as long as the sum of it all is love,
there will always be good in between.


*Written after my trip to Denmark.

Quarante-Trois.

10.30.14

Once upon a time,
we were in love.
Our hearts teemed with dreams
and we were enough.

But somehow, we grew apart
things turned to gray,
the moments we shared
started dwindling away.

Until all that was left
was just you and me,
our broken beings,
an ending we did not see.

Almost a year has passed,
the sadness comes and goes.
I may now be forgotten,
just a stranger you once knew.

Quarante-Deux.

04.10.17

This bittersweet feeling
the feeling of being torn,
of want, of longing,
and forgetting altogether

but then the lingering 'why'
and all the possible reasons
and the tears that have returned
and the ache I've not felt in years;

will seeing you be an answer
to close out this drawn out chapter
or will I be doomed again
to reminisce the hurt after?